well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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