is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
