what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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