i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
