I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
