im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
