In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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