Please, let me fuck your mom
I just cut my nipple shaving
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
