Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
