Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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