if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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