these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
