Nicole vs. Life
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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