barbara walters just said penis...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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