Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
