i'm lost and i look like a hooker
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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