I got chris browned last night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
