I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
