Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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