I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
