I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize