I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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