We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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