Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
