i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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