I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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