she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
