Got a toothbrush?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
