he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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