to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
