I wish I could teleport
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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