I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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