the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
