when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
