Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
