i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
