drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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