you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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