Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
