I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
