Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
