There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
