You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He has the fingertips of a God
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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