Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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