Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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