Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
