meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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