ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
