Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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