u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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