This house was built for laser tag.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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