Bisexual people are plain selfish.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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