We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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