His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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