I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
