If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
