dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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