So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
