I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
